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  • Writer's pictureDebra Pauli

Graceful Perseverance: I Was One Way; Now I am Completely Different - 12/11/22

Welcome back to this week’s blog! This week I’m sharing with you one of my favorite quotes from The Chosen, our favorite series bringing Jesus to life for all of us. "The first-ever multi-season series about the life of Christ. This free show tens of millions won't stop talking about."

There is so much meaning to the following quote for me. It is so true for those of us who have surrendered our lives to Christ. Those of us who were so caught up in things and matters of this world. But God always has a way of getting our attention, which ultimately draws us near to Him.


What does this mean for me? One blog cannot describe to my readers the importance of the transformation that has happened in my life, because of HIM. I was one way, and in a very dark way.

Now I am going to be "raw" with you. I never know where the Lord is going to take me in my blogs, but I know where He's taking me in this blog. I was one way, before the Grace of God saved me. I've experienced many years of dark chapters in my life before I knew Jesus. I was one way when Christ had no place in my life.

I was an infant, a toddler, a young child who was lost and broken where God first introduced himself to me. I was a beautiful mess for years. I entered into this world through a very dark and abusive childhood, near death situations by the hands of my biological mother who suffered from a very serious disease, paranoia schizophrenia. Looking back, without a God, I would have never survived my childhood on my own. Remember, I was a broken, fractured little girl. I was abandoned by my biological parents, and I was shuffled from foster home to foster home for three years. I have always described my child self like a piece of luggage going around and around on a carousal in an airport, waiting for someone to claim me and take me home to love me. I was a little girl who was saved by the hands of God from those who claimed to love me in this world, my birth parents. It was only God who could take my ashes and make a beautiful mosaic for His purpose. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves. - Colossians 1:13 (KJV).

All things made new, a new beginning, a new chapter, but the dark cloud continued to follow me in my life. A dark shadow was swallowing me up even in the next chapter of my life. Silence became my best friend due to the shame I felt coming from a broken family, and the abandonment of my parents and siblings. As I grew up, I wrestled with trusting the adult figures in my life. Every step to healing was daunting, and I grew more and more weary, especially knowing in my child's heart that I was rejected, abandoned, and never knew what love felt like, but I was only familiar with abuse and rejection from those around me. Rejection continued to meet up with me every corner I turned. And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new. Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” - Revelation 21:5 (ESV).

I was bound in such dark places. I couldn't hide my broken heart. I could no longer hide my sorrows and pain from the rest of the world, only to decide the next chapter of my life meant I could no longer go on. I wanted to leave this world. I was at ground zero, weak and broken when I attempted twice to take my own life due to wanting to escape the pains of this world. But it was God who stepped in and said "I am God, and your life is in my hands, not yours. I have plans for you my child, and now's not the right time for you to return home. I have more plans for you my child. I promise I will never leave you or fore sake you my child." For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11 (KJV).

Each chapter of my life still hovered a dark cloud over me. From a broken childhood, a severed family, a loss of birth parents and siblings, labeled the adopted child that nobody wanted, two child rapes by the age of nine, a high school dropout, a teenage pregnancy, a teenage marriage, four miscarriages, two broken marriages, the death of my third son at the age of 21, my entire world was crashing down on me chapter after chapter. But I was one way, falling to my knees. I was a broken mess. But it was only by God's Grace that came down on me and made me completely different. It is my God who saved me. It is my God who is bigger, stronger and greater than any darkness that tries to destroy me. Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. - Isaiah 41:10 (ESV).

See, I was one way, and not walking in faith, but just trying to survive the hard knocks of this life on my own. I was one way, when I was at my worst, when He called out my name. After all of the storms I had overcome, I know now it was only because He was right beside me through it all. Only God knew when I was ready for the next person to come into my world to impress upon me his love for Christ. And, yes, God knew this man was also ready to meet me, and do God's work. It is the Lord's plans when two people cross paths in this life according to God's timing, not ours. Therefore, before I knew it, I had found myself face down in prayer at the feet of Jesus, pleading for His help since I made such a horrible mess of my life. I was surrendering who I was for a completely new me. It was then that God's voice calmed me long enough to show me He had already chosen someone special in this world that He predestined to love me beyond all measure, and who would also be the chosen one to lead me to Christ.

God is the Master of the Universe. He knows everything because He created everything. Nothing can be hidden from God. He sees when we are in need. He hears our cry for help. He wipes our every tear. All hardship we experience has already passed through the hands of God. He watches us grow and He watches us stumble and fall. He's watching as we evolve into the person, He intended us to be. Therefore, it is always God's desire for His children to be like him and live in His image.

Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. - Genesis 1:26-27 (ESV).

Therefore, "I was one way, and today I am completely different." And the thing that happened in between? It "WAS HIM" that happened to me.

Blessings until next week,

Debra Pauli

Unstoppable Believer

Scripture Quotes: Holy Bible: New International Version (NIV) / New King James (NKJ) / English Standard Version (ESV)

Digital Assets: U.S. Copyright Office Fair Use Index, Section 107

Copyright © 2022 by Debra M. Pauli @ Pauli Publishing House (PPH) disclaimer: All rights reserved. No part of these writings may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written permission from the author.



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